Are there rules couples should observe when using sex toys? Are there dos and don’ts that can spice things up or ruin the moment? Many couples grapple with these questions. Truth is, everything boils down to logic. That is, you both get to decide what works for you and what doesn’t. At some point, especially when you’re both still sex toy amateurs, everything you do may feel like trial and error. That shouldn’t be a problem. If anything, that’s exactly how things should feel for normal couples. Eventually, you learn your way through the ropes. You then understand what it takes to use sex toys with your partner without setbacks. To get to that level, always consider the following rules.
This is certainly the single most important rule when it comes to sex toys. Imaging mid-way through sex, your partner chucks out anal beads and plugs and maintains that you both have to use them. Now, you don’t really have anything against it and plugs. As a matter of fact, you’ve always wanted to use them. It’s only that in your mind, you know when and where you’ll want to use the toys. You also need to prepare yourself mentally before trying out new toys for the first time ever.
Make no mistake here. Communicating doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t and can’t surprise your partner. Far from it, you can! There’s a way you should go about it though. You can for instance, hint to your partner that you’re thinking about getting something naught for the two of you. Your timing must be perfect. Your choice of toy must also be perfect. Consider dropping the surprise on a birthday or an anniversary. Anything to make the whole ordeal memorable.
You can’t overemphasize the role lube plays when it comes to spicing up sex. First off, it is medically recommended. For those with vaginal dryness issues, lubes often come in handy in a big way. So lube up. Ensure you always have some lube with you before intercourse.
You’ll have to choose mostly between water and silicone based lubes. Water has always been the most preferred lube for many. That’s because it washes off with ease. There’s also the fact that it doesn’t stick and stain surfaces as silicone does. The only downside with water based lubes is the fact that you may have to use lots of it. With silicone based lubes, a little always goes a long way.
Your partner thinks that you should get a rose vibrator. You on the other hand think you’re okay with the collection you currently have. You’re both at extreme ends of what you need to do to spice up yours sex like. Do all the talking you need. At no point though should you judge each other. You’re partner for a reason. It is mostly because you’re in sync and you vibe. Always remember that before you’re tempted to call out your partner for buying a rose vibrator.
Talk things out. Sure, you’re having fun, your relationship is going on well and you’re exactly where you’ve always wanted to be. How’s your sex life though? Do you both talk things out? Is there room in your relationship to express feelings? You should both feel safe enough with each other to express yourselves with ease.
Notably, you should be able to let your partner know whether or not you’re enjoying what they’re doing. By all means, don’t stay silent or even worse still, never fake an orgasm. Let your partner know what sex without toys feel like and what sex with toys feel like.
There’s something sexy about maintaining eye contact as you make love. It exudes confidence and desire. So yeah, the next time you’re using toys to make out, maintain eye contact. Get as naughty as you can each time you’re eyes are locked into each other. Wink or even kiss harder. The whole idea here is to create an experience you’ll both never forget.
In simple words, be willing to learn. Learn about the sex you currently have, learn about what excites your partner and more importantly, learn what you need to know about your own body. Humans are strange when it comes to sex. They all like it differently. It doesn’t end there. There are things you don’t know about your body yet. It’ll take a partner to make you learn. To that extent, be willing to learn new stuff and explore.
You certainly don’t have to recreate everything you’ve watched online. Logic should prevail here. If your partner is down for some naughty action, go for it! Then while at it, take time to note things you hardly pay attention to. You may not have noticed it yet but chances are, your partner likes getting kissed a certain way. It could also be very well that a sex toy, once use on your partner’s erogenous zones, make them weak. These are things you’ll never learn unless and until you’re willing to explore each other’s bodies in a bid to learn more about yourselves.
This isn’t rocket science. It’s all about one thing – mimicking the good energy your partner churns out during sex. You know who the dominant partner is. Match their energy to make things easy and in sync. In simple words, go with the flow. Don’t start on rough sex immediately you’re both naked. Let some chemistry build up. The good – and strange – thing here is that you will always know when either of you needs to go deeper or harder. Communicate this. That way, you both won’t let each other down.
Yup! You read that right. Never compare. You may have walked into a popular store like cirillas.com only to spot a couple and immediately like them. Such admiration should end at just that – admiration. You shouldn’t compare your partner to the other partners you know of. You may have both settled on a simple toy just to get the job done. The next couple on the counter may have gone for the most expensive toy. Guess what though – you both can enjoy high quality sex. Problem only kicks in whenever partners try to compare who’s better than the other. Simply avoid such comparisons.
Yes, you have the energy and you can go on and on. What about your partner though? Know when to either take a break or stop. Be sure to engage your partner on this. It is important that you go as far as agreeing for how long you’ll have each other.
Be keen on how your partner behaves and what they say while having fun. Let your partner know that it is okay to say what they feel while having a good time in bed. If they feel like something needs to stop, then all they need to is say ‘stop’.
Get some rest. Don’t overwork your body and organs all in the name of having fun. Hydrate too. It is good for your skin as well as your sex life. You don’t have a reason to skip meals or embark on a destructive pattern because of bad eating habits.
Eat well – balanced diet meals – then rest. 8 hours of sleep is always the recommended minimum. You can of course, sleep for longer. By the time you’re back to your toys, you should be well energized ready to rumble by buzzing up the toy.
Agree on who is going to store the toys. Ultimately, whoever stores them gets to wash them too. You can both choose to store your toys separately. For long term partners, this is never a good idea. Store your toys together. Be sure to wash them before and after sex. Use plenty of soap and running water. Another good idea here is to always have wet wipes with you. All you need to do with the wipes is simply wipe off the toys clean before and after using them.
Note that some toys can easily grab a child’s attention. That is why your children should never in the first place, find out you use adult toys. Get safe complete with lock and key. Use a combination you can easily recall. There are adult toy bags too mostly available online that can come to your rescue as far as adult toys are concerned.
There are so many things your partner doesn’t know about sex toys. On the same note, there are things you don’t know too about sex toys. As you laze about after sex, take time to enlighten each other. This is even more important if you’re planning to introduce a new toy. Go through tutorials how the toy you wish to introduce works. Learn together as much as possible. Shop together too. With Cirilla’s sex shops opening up all over, you can be certain you’ll have a good time shopping for a new toy.
Using sex toys with your partner sounds like fun – because it is fun! There are basic rules you must never ignore though. All the aforementioned rules will go a long way to make things easy for you and your partner.